


Return and Regrets

by Moonluster



Series: Transcendence [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: I didn’t mean for every single piece I write to be a gut-punch, I’m weak to this shit okay and I’m sorry, Kaiba Bro Moments, Kaiba Bros, Mokuba also swears but only bc Seto is a bad influence, Seto cries for real this time, Seto is still swearing, everything is fucking emotional, post-dsod
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23763241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonluster/pseuds/Moonluster
Summary: Rating for swearing. Seto returns to a weeping Mokuba, who was scared for his brother’s life and safety. While resting, Mokuba confesses to Seto what he’s really been thinking and feeling about current events. Seto has to acknowledge how wrong he’s been and try to change himself, at least for both Atem’s and Mokuba’s sakes.CAN READ SEPARATELY OR CONTINUE FROM PART 1: REUNION.
Series: Transcendence [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684291
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Return and Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the emotional nature of this piece. That is all.

Everything went to black, like being thrust from a dream, and, as if waking up, the whirring and beeping of the machine all around my body helped me reach my senses once again. 

My body was heavy, exhausted, even. More than it had ever been before this time. 

“Seto!” I heard Mokuba cry from outside the machine, as the cover opened and I saw his face, wetness brimming at the edges of his eyes, “I thought you were gone for good this time!”

“Mokuba...” I murmured, my arm moving above me, as weighted as lead, finding my fingers brush his cheek ever so slightly. He grabbed my wrist with a grip as strong as he could manage and pressed it to his cheek, tears falling. They touched my palm, and the first thought I had was, _not again._ The sensation itself sent another wave of cringing nerves through my arm and I did my best not to recoil. 

“I thought this would be like the first time we tried to do this. I tried not to think about it, but I...I!” A series of sobs erupted from him, and I couldn’t help but feel something stir in my chest looking up at him...something akin to guilt, perhaps? I couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter. 

Of course. I’d been foolish to think that Mokuba, who was only a teen now, could handle all the responsibilities of a corporation by himself. I’d done it, but only because I’d had no other choice. Now I was doing the same to him. 

What the hell was I thinking? 

“Mokuba...” I repeated, feeling like a broken record, “I’m fine. I made it.”

“You did?” He asked between sniffs and small hiccups, looking at me with those watery, indigo blue eyes. 

“Mm.” I replied, realizing that even my voice sounded fatigued, “Atem wanted me to say ‘hi’ to you.” 

He fixed me with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes, “Who?”

“Oh...that’s the ‘other Yuugi’s’ real name,” I replied, realizing how much effort it was taking to even _speak._

A rolling set of laughter shook his body, “Ah, okay. I’m glad. Tell him that I said ‘hi’, too, when you go there next.” He released my wrist from his grip and left my side, calling as the electronic sound of a door slid to the exterior of the room we occupied, “getting you some water and a snack, so just stay there, okay?” 

“Got it,” I responded. 

Determined to at _least_ get into a sitting position, I started the process of being upright, using a combination of my weak and wobbling arms and my back, my body aching and straining under my weight. A groan escaped my lips and I winced, finding myself in a determined state of mind I was very much used to by now; where I ignore all pain and continue moving through it until it’s over with.

Eventually, I found myself standing, my legs trembling, droplets of sweat rolling off of my nose, and my breath labored. 

“Back!” My brother’s voice chimed, and in his hands, a water bottle and a packet of mixed nuts; an American snack that I had become fond of as a small, replenishing food item for after a workout. 

I nodded my thanks to him, uncapping the bottle and took at least half of it down and he looked up at me with a tilted head, “You’re looking pale, Big Brother...and you’re sweating all over.”

“Hn.” I acknowledged, my muscles continuing to shudder. 

“Let’s get to the rest area, okay?” 

“Mhm,” I replied, a certain feeling tapping me in the heart, gently prodding.

He’s always taken care of me, and I was willing to just...leave him. By himself. To deal with things only an adult should deal with...

It wasn’t long before he started inquiring about what had happened ‘back there’. 

“How did your duel go? Did you win?”

I growled under my breath, trying not to show my irritation too much in my reply, “...No. He bested me, again.”

“Oof...ouch,” He grimaced, “that had to suck.” 

“Yes, and all that work up to this point, went to waste.” I sneered, trying my best not to crush the water bottle between my palm. I took another swig as we made our way into the designated rest area that I had set aside for my and Mokuba’s use during our breaks from work, and in my case, working out as well. 

Mokuba parted from my side as he went into a nearby cabinet and went to retrieve a hand towel, “I wouldn’t say that it ‘went to waste’, Seto...I mean, you made it and you were there for at least an hour.” 

I seated myself onto the sofa nearby, trying not to wince or groan at the pain my prison of a body was making so obvious. 

Kindly, he handed me the towel and a pain pill, both of which I took, hoping I seemed grateful for his assistance. I had no way to express it, especially since words wouldn’t do it justice. 

He seated himself beside me, though not too close, awaiting if I would speak. I did not until I had downed the pain pill, and got a few snack nuts into me. 

“An hour, huh? That’s a new record,” I remarked.

“Yeah, and you made it back without me having to pull the plug!” He exclaimed, his eyes gleaming, “I was watching you somewhat closely the whole time, to be honest.”

“You said...” 

“That I tried not to think about it? Yeah, tried not to think about you potentially dying, _again_...”

“Mokuba...” I noticed him face away from me, his voice dropping into a quiet, fearful octave.

“You’ve been so careful up until now...doing everything with purpose, with a plan in mind before you even step forward.”

I said nothing, letting him pour his heart out. 

“But lately...ever since you found out that the other Yuugi went away, you’ve been...” He paused, and I noticed his shoulders tense as he took a deep breath, “reckless. Like you don’t care about anything but your goals.”

I wanted to object, finding my mouth open, but nothing came out, so I remained quiet. 

Mokuba’s voice trembled as he continued, “It’s just like before...before the other Yuugi shattered your heart, and that...scares me, Bro.”

_Shit._

I realized, at this moment, that I’d screwed up. 

_But I don’t know any other way to function, to live!_ I was put through hell and did whatever I could do to get ahead, to realize my dreams...no matter the cost. 

Yet, that wasn’t any excuse. How could I say sorry to one of the only people I’d vowed never to hurt again? The one person I wanted to protect with my entire life?

What the fuck had I been doing?

He faced me, tears streaming down his cheeks again, “I know you told me to stop crying a while back, but I can’t help it when you make me feel so scared! I can’t imagine living without you, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore!” 

_‘Don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore’?_

All at once, I felt a lurch in my chest that nearly made me double over. It wasn’t physical pain, but a torrent of emotion, none of which I knew how to name or address, that flew through me at the speed of light. 

“Seto!” Mokuba cried once again. I knew he was looking at me, at my shameful form. 

I tried to steady my breath but found it unwilling to be stable. 

“I...I--!” I started, unable to look at my brother directly in the eyes, my face burning with indignation, “Mokuba...you have to know...that everything, all of this was...” I swallowed, trying to wet my mouth with saliva, “It was for...us. For you.” 

“...Big Brother...” He murmured. I didn’t want to hear that tone of voice; the one that sounded like he was empathizing with me. 

“I...don’t know how I can make it up to you. Maybe I never will. I just...” I tried not to let him see that my lower lip was trembling, and I bit it hard to stop it before I pressed on. 

“Just know that I’m...”

“I get it, Seto.” He reassured me, and I dropped my head, screwing my eyes shut as my heart thundered with raging emotion. 

_I’ve never deserved you. All I do is make you feel like shit. I’m no better than that asshole I called ‘father’._

I don’t know what happened next, but before I knew it, I was hiding my face in the towel that my brother had so kindly given to me.

It was several minutes before I could feel myself returning to some semblance of my senses, drying my face as I did so, and Mokuba was huddled up beside me, clasping my arm between his, sobbing into it as well. 

_Damnit._

I looked down at him and couldn’t help myself when my face met the top of his head and I spoke, my voice unwilling to come at first, so I cleared my throat and tried to start, as gently as I could, “Thank you, Mokuba. I’m...sorry.”

I heard him sniffle before he looked back up to me, eyes puffy and red, “It’s okay, Seto.”

“No, it isn’t.” I replied, pulling him away from me, trying not to outright push him away from me--as my body and mind so desperately wanted to do, and I burrowed my gaze into his, “I’ve done nothing but...make you miserable, these past few months. Hell, our _whole fucking_ **_lives_** , at this point--”

He interrupted me as he put a hand on my arm, “No, it hasn’t been our whole lives. Just a few times where you were...out of control, like recently.” 

“...It’s still not right. Not if it makes you upset like this,” I admitted. As I did so, I felt as if something heavy lifted off of my entire body. Something like relief.

“I just want you to be happy again, Bro. It’s been hard to watch you just--self-destruct like this, again. I want you to be like you used to be...carefree and always smiling.” 

“Mokuba, I...can’t. That part of me died a long time ago...” I admitted, something almost escaping my throat as I finished the sentence. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t remember what that was like back then.” 

“Fuck Gozaburo! He’s the one who did this to you!” Mokuba slapped the cushion of the couch beside him and then gripped it tightly as he shuddered, whether from trying not to cry or from pure anger and continued, “I won’t forgive that asshole for what he did to you. He took your smile, he took your happiness, he took _everything_!”

I couldn’t refute that. There wasn’t a point to justifying it or defending it, either. I knew that what had transpired hadn’t been normal in any respect, but I’d just gotten...used to it. That was _normal_ at the time. It made my stomach twist into knots just thinking about it, how it was _expected_ , how it was _normalized_ , and how it was **_accepted_**. 

No one helped, no one cared, except the one person who shouldn’t have even been exposed to all that horror in the first place. 

“...He didn’t take my fighting spirit, my pride.” I offered, hoping Mokuba would at least take that because I didn’t have anything else to give him. It was pitiful, trying to make excuses for my condition, and Mokuba wasn’t the only one who’d noticed...

There was a silence between us, one filled with ambivalence, before he began, slowly and quietly, “yeah...I guess there’s that,” he faced me once more, something changing in his eyes as he continued, “but Seto, you have to find happiness again, somehow. Please...if not for your sake, then mine.” 

He placed a heart to his chest, his expression softening as he watched me carefully, listening for my answer. 

I knew I had to answer smartly, if not honestly. A part of me didn’t want to listen to what he said or even fulfill the ‘request’ he gave. That same part of me was the one that made me want to crush everything in my path, not giving a damn about the consequences or circumstances. 

It occurred to me that Atem had implored me to do the same in the afterlife dimension.

For once, I realized that I had to take a different way. What that would look like, or how I would execute it, I wasn’t sure. 

I agreed, begrudgingly, “...I will, even though I don’t know how.”

“Just _try_.” He implored me with a gentle smile. 

“To that end, I think you need a day off. Don’t even try to go into the next dimension. You need rest,” He instructed, returning to his normally confident, mature self. It was a total contrast to the childish and vulnerable side he’d shown not more than a few moments ago. Pride surged through my chest as I watched the change. I supposed I hadn’t done so badly, after all. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay with handling things if I do?” I didn’t want to make him feel burdened, more than he likely already felt, on my account. 

“Seto, I can handle things for at least a week, okay? I thought you knew this,” he chuckled, and I couldn’t help but grin at him as I replied, 

“You are a Kaiba, after all. How foolish of me to forget,” I teased, though semi-serious and trying to offer a compliment, something I rarely try to do. 

“Mhm! Now, _rest_ ,” he leaped off of the sofa and made his way to the door, turning back to look at me with a wink and a peace sign as he reassured me, “I got this, so don’t worry about me.”

I hummed noncommittally and watched him leave through the electric sliding door. 

_Rest, huh? I doubt my mind will let me, but I’ll try...for_ **_them._ **


End file.
